The Don't Change List

New Year? These rituals can stay put, s'il vous plaît. Plus, Teletubbies!

This is it. We’re just days away from turning the last page of the calendar, and from counting up, or down as it were. The party hats have likely been purchased. The sparkly, plunging Going Out top has been pulled from the back of the closet (or purchased on a whim from Zara). Our feeds are full of promises for a better this, a stronger that, ways we want to improve, and things we want to do differently.

But what would happen if things just kept on… thinging? Surely there are positive aspects of our lives to maintain. Change is inevitable, but not for every element of our lives, right? (Asks the girl booted up, about to hike Change Mountain.)

Photo by Tormius on Unsplash

As I embark on a chosen life shift a mere month after we’ve flipped the switch from 2023 to 2024—moving from Paris back to the U.S. following nearly a decade and, if all goes according to plan, finding a more steady and stable full-time job after 10 years of freelancing—I fear I’ll lose many of the small, joyful things tied to the way things are. While I invite this new chapter (by which I mean, I created it), and I am eager to turn the page, I also hope a few factors of my life don’t dramatically disappear from the plot entirely.

With that, I bring you my Don’t Change List:

• I’m in several WhatsApp groups with friends in Paris. One was even created for the sole purpose of keeping each other informed and connected when one of us is inevitably out of the country for a long stretch, like in August or over the winter holidays. And while I’m confident I won’t be removed from it, and the group updates will still come, I fear the 1:1 individual texts will be sent less frequently because of the time difference. For example, my friend Jo and I send regular “sup?” messages and share what we ate for dinner, while Amy and I tend to go back and forth about some TV show we’re currently watching. They’re inconsequential, mostly, and don’t define our friendships in any way, but I hate to lose them.

• When I come “home” to New York to visit, my Mom does nice things for me. Not that she doesn’t do nice things for me all the time, but these thoughtful gestures, like dog-earing magazine articles or putting out the coffee mug I like so it’s easy for me to find when I wake up bleary-eyed from jetlag, are of the “I don’t see you often, but think of you always and want to make you comfortable when you’re here” variety. Now that we’ll essentially be neighbors again, will I be left to my own devices?

• I also love receiving a daily “bonjour” text from her precisely between 1:45 and 2:45p.m. Paris-time. I picture her, having just fed our dog Maggie, sitting in the quiet of the house as my Dad still sleeps. She’s sipping coffee in the downstairs den about to read a book or play Candy Crush, while I’m often just finishing lunch or hosting a Cave. I look forward to these “hellos,” even if that’s all they are, and wonder if they’ll be as meaningful now that I’m back in a country where we say “hi” and could theoretically see each other that same afternoon.

• Speaking of French, as much as I still bumble my way through a variety of scenarios where using the language is necessary, and look forward to being able to express myself freely and fluently in English, I don’t want to lose the level I’ve attained thus far. (B1, baby!) I fear not speaking it often enough will send me towards tu/vous purgatory and I don’t want that to happen.

• Going to the market has turned me into someone who enjoys cooking. I look forward to seeing the colorful ingredients shift as the seasons blend from one into another, and while I don’t know many of the vendors’ names, their nods of recognition fill me up with such resolve. While I look forward to being able to buy essentially anything I need in one giant supermarket, I’m sad to trade an outdoor shop for one with fluorescent overhead lighting and plastic packaging, and hope I’m not deterred from cooking as a result.

The list ends there because this letter was not meant to be such a downer! Plus, I really am ready, and I know new rituals will reveal themselves in time, boosting me in unique ways. I can only take comfort in knowing (and believing!) that the relationships I have with my friends, my family, and myself are strong enough to sustain me during this transition. The only constant in life is change—whether we choose it or not—so all we can do is acknowledge the consistent small pleasures while we have them. Here’s to more of that in 2024 for us all! See you on the flip, mes amies.. xx — Sara

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Clickable

• Banned from Filene’s Basement, all for a little thrill. | The NY Times

• When dating, how old is too old and how young is too young? | The Cut

• Oprah is thin again, aka diets never end (or don’t work). | The NY Times

• “Twitter provided all of the feedback and none of the loop.” | The Verge

• War, peace, and border confiscations. |

  Ladyparts
  by
  Deborah Copaken

• Finding the light in winter. | The New York Times

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Watchable

I know Christmas is over, but with New Year’s Eve this weekend, we’re still firmly planted in festive season, and this bittersweet performance of Xmas song “Fairytale of New York,” performed at the funeral of The Pogues frontman Shane MacGowan a few weeks ago, tugged at my heartstrings. It’s beautiful and loud and bittersweet and worth turning up to full volume and playing on repeat.

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Currently overthinking…

…suitcase sizes and quantities…

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Souvenir: Teletubbies

I’m in LA this week, hanging out with my niece and nephew, which means I’m deep into “Encanto,” fire trucks, and bubbles, which got me thinking of other forms of entertainment for children, which got me thinking of these completely unidentifiable characters from the ’90s. They were after my time, but I babysat for many a kid who enjoyed these squeaky, mouse-like weirdos who I only just learned were called teletubbies because of the television screens on their…you guessed it…bellies. The BBC show was apparently rebooted (no doubt thanks to their antennas!) on Netflix last year.